Icy Hot: Product Review

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Icy Hot: Product Review

“The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.”

Do you suffer from debilitating pain associated with Arthritis or muscle strains? If you are an athlete, or happen to be a lazy unemployed beach bum, these conditions will affect you at some point. I’m now actively taking part in a STEP exercise program, which has caused both of these problems to rear their ugly heads. I step to the couch, television, remote control, and microwave several times a day. It is hard work, and it causes a lot of problems with my knees. I’ve decided to try a lot of products to reduce this pain, and I have had only limited success, much like Rosie O’ Donnell has had in regards to Donald Trump’s ego.

Icy Hot¬†is sold in every major grocery store and street corner pharmacy. It is supposed to relieve pain caused by Arthritis and sore muscles. The whole concept is based upon the cold minimizing this pain, while the hot knocks it away. All the hot part did was allow me to empathize with Archie Bunker’s wife, in the episode where she was going through menopause. Thankfully I didn’t scream “ARCHIE!”, but as a somewhat domesticated member of the male genus, I can say that I’ve had hot flashes. It is not fun, and the level of heat caused by this product is quite intense. This burning sensation is similar to what a lobster experience, while it screams as it is being thrown into boiling water.

How to use Icy Hot:

Icy Hot:

 

I followed the directions, even though as a male, I refuse to read such things. I applied the cream to the muscles and joints that needed some assistance and massaged this stuff in for awhile. The only results obtained was a cold and hot sensation, with the pain returning immediately. This product is obviously similar to the stuff that snake oil salesmen used to sell, as it does nothing to relieve any irritation. There is no relief even with excessive amounts of this product, and it is not nearly effective as a good aspirin.

The smell alone is enough to cause hallucinations, as I thought that I had a hot date with Janet Reno. This stuff stinks worse than catfish bait, and I’m convinced that it should be renamed ” Eau de Locker room.” It is hideous, and the menthol is overwhelming enough to cause tree huggers and horn rim glasses right wingers to find common ground. Do not go anywhere in public after putting this stuff on, for at least a period of eight hours. A shower will only help a little, as this is similar to the tomato juice bath after being sprayed by a skunk.

Active ingredients are Menthol 10%, and Methyl Salicylate 30%. The state of California warns that these ingredients are enough to cause damage to small animal’s olfactory nerves. The inactive ingredients are Carbower, Cetyl Esters, Emulsifying Wax, Phosphate, Stearic Acid, Triethanolamine, and Water. Icy Hot product is sold in many different forms, and the one I purchased was the cream for $4.99. (Not the same cream that Barry Bonds used, since I’m a 90 lb weakling)

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Do not use Icy Hot product. Icy Hot is a waste of money and time, and it’s a shame that it cannot live up to its guarantee of relieving pain. All it does is cause you to stink, and forcing you to increase your water bill, by taking excessive amounts of showers. I would recommend an aspirin instead, or doing the healthy thing, and sitting on the couch with a slice of pizza. At least your joints won’t hurt, and most antacids are effective in that regard.

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